What this book is about: Notes Black Swan has three attributes outlier - lier outside realm of regular expectations - nothing in the past can convincingly point to its possibility extreme impact human nature makes us want to explain it ie: RARITY, EXTEME IMPACT, RETROSPECTIVE certain professionals in environments subject to Black Swans think they are experts but they are not- they are better at narrating or making things sound complex ...
What this book is about: This is a book about how most humans only live about 4,000 weeks, and we should realize that In the long run, we’re all dead Notes face the reality that time is limited once you deeply grasp that fact that doing everything is impossible, you’ll be newly empowered to resist doing everything, and to focus instead on building the most meaningful life you can know that you will not achieve peace of mind just by doing more things. Find peace of mind in the present. stop believing that it might be somehow possible to avoid hard choices about time. focus on doing a few things that count filling your life with pleasurable activities proves less satisfying than you’d expect, because the world has an infinite number of experiences to offer, therefore doing a handful of them gets you no closer to a sense of having feasted on life’s possibilities “Once you truly understand that you’re guaranteed to miss out on almost every experience the world has to offer, the fact that there are so many you still haven’t experienced stops feeling like a problem. Instead, you get to focus on fully enjoying the tiny slice of experience you actually do have time for - and the freer you are to choose, in each moment, what counts the most.” “the original Latin word for “decide,” decidere, means “to cut off,” as in slicing away alternatives; it’s a close cousin of words like “homicide” and “suicide”” being able to have any experience is amazing, even if its annoying we should settling, bc once a decision is made the anxiety is gone acknowledge the inevitability of discomfort Chapter 5 starts talking about distraction and specifically social media and internet distraction “what you pay attention to will define, for you, what realty is” much of the time we give into distraction, whether its social media or not something in us wants us to be distracted - what is it ? we are distracted because we are motivated by the desire to flee something painful about our experience of the present we are trying to “dull the pain of finitude” by feeling unconstrained distractions are the place we go to seek relief from the discomfort of confronting limitations to sap distraction of its power, stop expecting things to be otherwise accept that this unpleasantness is simply what it feels for finite humans to commit ourselves to the kinds of demanding and valuable tasks that force us to confront our limited control over how our lives unfold “there is a very down to earth kind of liberation in grasping that there are certain truths about being a limited human from which you’ll never be liberated” no matter how much you plan, things will never be certain Worry is when your mind tries to generate security about the future and continues to fail at that task. “The fuel behind worry is the internal demand to know, in advance, that things will turn out fine.” many spiritual traditions converge on the same advice: confine our attentions to the only portion of time that really is any of our business - this one, here in the present all a plan is a present moment statement of intent and the future is under no obligation to comply the moment of truth is always now, not in the future “life is nothing but a succession of present moments, culminating in death” you will never feel you have things in perfect working order Chapter 9 - Rediscovering Rest “To rest for the sake of rest entails first accepting the fact that this is it: that your days aren’t progressing toward a future state of perfect invulnerable happiness, and that to approach them with such an assumption is systemically to drain our 4,000 weeks of their value” rest for the sake of rest is going to cause discomfort, which is a sign you should be doing it Chapter 10 - Impatience we are inclined to interruption (which is bad) Reading is an activity that operates according to its own schedule. You can’t hurry it. Reading something properly takes time. Psychotherapist Stephanie Brown our modern addiction is to speed, to rushing things face the truth that you cannot dictate how fast things go - you cannot outrun your anxiety dig into a challenging project you can cultivate an appreciation for endurance, hanging in, and putting the next foot forward give up “demanding instant resolution, instant relief from discomfort and pain, and magical fixes” have a clear eyed awareness of your limitations - acquire patience patience is a form of power derive value from doing itself, instead of deferring fulfillments to the future do nothing if you are willing to endure the discomfort of not knowing, a solution will often present itself Three principles of patience Develop a taste for having problems embrace radical incrementalism stop when your daily time is up. Stopping helps strengthen the muscle of patience originality lies on the far side of unoriginality Chapter 12 - The Loneliness of the Digital Nomad digital nomad lacks shared rhythms required for deep relationships to take root Chapter 13 Cosmic Insignificance Therapy “what you do with your life doesn’t matter all that much - and when it comes to how you’re using your finitie time, the universe could absolutely not care less” whatever you are doing is indistinguishable from nothing at all Ask yourself five questions Where in your life or work are you currently pursuing comfort, when what’s called for is a little discomfort? Are you holding yourself to, and judging yourself by, standards of productivity or performance that are impossible to meet? In what ways have you yet to accept the fact that you are who you are, not the person you think you ought to be? In which area of life are you still holding back until you feel like you know what you’re doing How would you spend your days differently if you didn’t care so much about seeing your actions reach fruition? seek out novelty in the mundane act on impulse right away practice doing nothing
What this book is about: This is a book about the art of conversation It has some case studies and lays some rules out on how to have good conversations Notes people love talking to people who let them come away feeling “a little smarter, funnier, more interesting” people want to feel as if they have been heard and like they have some kind of bond with who they are talking a goal for meaning for discussions is to have a “learning conversation” learn how people around us see the world and help them understand out perspectives to communicate with someone we must connect with them absorb what someone is saying and comprehend what we say when a good conversation happens brains align, bodies synchronize and neural simultaneity occurs To become a supercomminiucator: listen close to what is said and unsaid ask right questions recognize and match others moods make our own feelings easy for others to perceive Three types of conversations: Decision Making - What’s this really about? “within every conversation there is a quiet negotiation, where the prize is not winning, but rather determining what everyone wants, so that something meaningful can occur” Simply ask “what do you want?” ask lots of questions “ask open-ended questions and listen closely. Get people talking about how they see the world and what they value most.”" You can at least inspire them to listen back, even if you don’t get the answers. Emotional - How do we feel? About Identity - Who we are? Recognize what kind of conversation is occurring and match each other when someone makes noises as they listen (“yeah”, “Uh-huh”, or laughing) it’s a sign they’re engaged. As well as follow up questions ask open-ended questions. examples: Ask about beliefs or values (“How’d you decide to become a teacher?”) Ask someone to make a judgment (“Are you glad you went to law school?”) Asking about someone’s experiences (“What was it like to visit Europe?”) Talk about intimate things. When people discuss feelings/emotions, other people can’t help but listen to us we become prone to “emotional contagion” when we hear each others deeply held beliefs or values exposing ourselves to someone’s scrutiny engenders a sense of intimacy Asking Questions -> Vulnerability -> Emotional Contagion -> Connection slightly modify fact based questions to make them more emotional, eg: instead of “where do you live?”, “what do you like about where you live?” Prove that you are listening. Demonstrate it after the speaker finishes talking. Repeat in their own words what we just heard them say. be a more desirable partner for future collaboration The Learning Conversation (Rules): Pay attention to what kind of conversation is occuring specify goal(s) before the conversation formulate what we hope to say and how to say it Share your goals, and ask what others are seeking Ask about others feelings, and share your own Explore if identities are important to the discussion do you want to be Helped, Hugged or Heard ? One thing I want to take away from this book is actions I can take to make a better conversation. An actionable item I can do is write down what I want to get out of a call or interview or meeting before it occurs. I can write down answers to questions like: What are the specific topics I might discuss One thing I hope to say One question I will ask just writing these down will help to make for a better conversation, even if I don’t actually use anything I’ve written down I heard of this book through the EconTalk podcast and I kept hearing about it through other sources like this Tim Ferris instagram post, among other places. I read it over three days in August 2024 while traveling from New York to Denver. ...